Madaline Dyan

Well the time has come. It's been over two years since my miscarriage for our baby girl and she would be two this November. Ben and I have done a lot of thinking over the last couple of years and decided today that it's time to name her. We were planning on saving this name for our next baby girl but it just feels so right. The need for closure is there and some days are better than others when I don't think about her all of the time, but regardless, I do think of her daily. The stages of grief are not set in stone, there is no time limit to my sadness. This has taken some time for me to accept. So for some of you this may seem strange to name her so long after her death...but to us, it's perfect-and necessary. Although I have had more than one miscarriage, this one is near and dear to my heart because I knew the gender. I'm glad I know, but it also makes the pain that much more real. So to our baby girl-we will see you again someday.

For time and all eternity

Well...yesterday it was one year since our visit to the Temple. I remember that day so vividly and all of the wonderful experiences we had there. I know that we will return someday and our next experience will be even better than the last, and I will be more prepared. Until then...

Favorites from the party...

Ben's party

Well Ben's surprise party went over really well...even though someone told him about it. UGH! Anyway, a ton of people came and Ben had so much fun. I got him a transformers pinata and that was the funniest part of the evening!

The big O

MySpace Countdown Clocks

Comments...

Well well well...for those of you that posted about my partay time with my brother, I want you to know I wasn't ignoring the comments, I just didn't see them until today. I'm always game to hang with you all....since we love you guys...I'm just bad about doing it and there is always that awkwardness when you all first get here because we haven't seen each other in so long..blah blah blah...plus, Nathan was staying here so we were always in the loop..which isn't the case when people stay other places. Finally, half the time, I dont know you are coming until you are in town and I have already made plans or whatever....SO-give a girl a call, email, text, SOMETHING and we will hang out. I've been TRYING to get together with Ashley for a long time but she's like me...we are just bad about doing it.


Love you guys!!!

XOXO

Happy Birthday...to BEN!

Well people, it's official...We have a mouse in the house. Probably more than one...probably an entire family just to irritate me. Yesterday I came home to find my bag of rice cakes moving on the counter. Sure enough, a mouse comes flying out of a hole no larger than a pin and scurries across my kitchen counter. For those of you who know me well, I don't eat leftovers because I feel they may be tainted. Imagine how I feel about my entire house now. SO-Ben spent some time today, his birthday, shopping for things to make the mice go away, stay away or die. I'm happy to report that our house is guarded very very well and traps in place to kill the ones that decide to be brave. Anyway, happy birthday to Ben :)

4th of Juuuuuuly...

The 4th has always been my favorite holiday...It probably always will be. To me, it tops Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day and even my birthday. I love it because I've always had great memories on this day. Today, I was feeling really sick. My Lupus has been acting up-due to my own defiance-and I have not been doing very well. Because of that, Ben and I went home from my parents' house very early so I could rest. I wasn't even interested in the fireworks, so Ben knew something was up. However, when it came time for the fireworks show, Ben talked me into going down the street a little and watching the fireworks show at the rapids stadium. Although I didn't want to go, I was so glad I did afterward. It got my mind off of my rash, fatigue and just overall icky feeling...AND I didn't miss out on my favorite part of this day!!! Ben knows me all too well :)

Here are pictures from this weekend so far...

Protecting the eyes...

from the harmful UV rays...