It's a BOY!

This is the official announcement of our expanding family. As you all know, we bought our house a little over a year ago and have some extra room. Corky is getting up there in age and has mellowed out some. So we thought now would be a perfect time to add to the family. Although I wanted a girl, I'll love this boy just the same...maybe even more.





















What did you think I was talking about?!


Corky and Riley




Riley sleeping on the ottoman

Very Merry Day.

Merry Christmas indeed. The last two days I have been able to spend an abundance of time with family. This time of year always reminds me to be thankful for what I may take for granted. Last night, Ben and I went to my in-laws house for dinner. It was a very eat-and-run scenario on our part because I had to finish making my mom's scrapbook (her Christmas present).



This morning, we woke up early to exchange gifts before spending the day at my parent's house. Ben had already gotten me the Wii Fit that I have been begging for but then he got me this PIMPIN digital photo frame that plays music from an MP3 player...kind of like a soundtrack. It's awesome. I got him a bunch of clothes and stuff that he needed (not necessarily wanted). However, there were two good items in there. One was a shirt with some video game reference on it. The other is a hoodie I had custom made. Those of you that have spent any significant amount of time with Ben recently will appreciate this... ESPECIALLY those that attended the reunion. The picture is below.



We had breakfast at my parent's house, opened some gifts and then Elizabeth, Ben and I went to see Marley and Me. I have been DYING to go see it. It was SUCH a great movie...ever so sad though. There was not one person that wasn't crying...and that theatre was packed! Afterwards, we went back to Mom and Mark's to finish opening gifts and eat dinner. On our way home, we got to talk to Daniel. Things just worked out perfectly today. I hope everyone's holiday was as good as ours!

XOXO

xoxo

My doctor called today and said that my MRI was normal and he was able to rule out MS. I thought "that's good...I didn't even know he was concerned about that!" SOooooooooooooo-we meet next week to talk about how to get a handle on my symptoms. When I got home tonight, my neighbors were at my house waiting for me to get home. They bought Corky a santa outfit and wanted to see my reaction. He is so cute. He is a little chubby though so it's snug but so adorable. It lights up and sings. I love my neighbors and I love my dog even more for letting me dress him up in a bunch of annoying outfits.

Ho Ho Ho...Corky on the GO.

I bought Corky a little holiday neck scrunchie today. I want him to look festive for the holidays. When I got home, I saw this mess he made with his toys today. It looked like my living room blew up with the cotton from his toys. He ran up and jumped up on me as if to say "look what I did today!" It made me laugh...so I put his neck scrunchie on him and took a picture. He can't wear it all the time because it has bells on it and they drive him and I crazy...but he sure does look cute.

Busy day I say...

I had my MRI on Thursday. That wasn't the best experience of my life but it wasn't the worst either. First, the test was scheduled for 11 but I had to check in to the hospital at 10:30. After they get me registered, they take me back to start an IV. It was then that they tell me that they were down one machine and running about an hour and a half late. Great-but I was already there and just wanted to get it over with. So I get in my gown and robe and they take me to a waiting room where I waited for about two hours. Once I finally got into the machine, I was freaking out because I didn't really know what to expect. After I had been in it for about twenty minutes, I started to relax, which made the remaining hour easier. Once I was done, I had to race back to work in time for the afternoon group. Needless to say, it was a busy day and I had an excruciating headache after the test. I'm so happy that it's over with and all I have to do is wait for the results and hope that I never have to do that again.

Beneath the facade.

As Christmas approaches, it comes time to take our kids at work on a holiday outing. Every year, we have a different group of clients with different interests. So today, I asked the group what they wanted to do. I had some ideas like the movies, bowling, Dave and Busters but the kids all had a different idea. They all said they wished we could go to Build-A-Bear so they can make teddy bears. None of them had ever been and had only seen commercials. It broke my heart a little, because while I'm thinking about lame activities that they have done already, I overlooked the small things that they hadn't done. I know of many people who have never been to Build-A-Bear by choice, but none that hadn't because their parents couldn't afford it. One of my students who is leaving Excelsior at the end of the semester (after 3 years and is very sad about it) said that she wanted to add a recording accessory to her bear and record me saying "get it together Jasmine" as I often do-so that when she is struggling in public school, she can get a 'reality check'. Outsiders hear about our facility and think that our girls are bad, crazy and scary...but underneath it all, is a little girl that wants a teddy bear for Christmas.

Beach vacation=one word...WOOT!

The family reunion was quite simply a blast. I had so much fun-much more than I had expected. It was so great to see most of the family together again. The weather was fantastic up until the day we left...hmmmm...maybe a clue there :) But even on that day, it just rained....it was absolutely a surprise to come home to snow! I did miss Corky dearly but he fared fine over at my mom's. Just like everyone, he enjoys the zoo on occasion.

Love is a four-legged word

As Ben and I leave for Myrtle Beach tomorrow, I get sad about leaving Corky behind. Even though it's only a week, it will feel like forever to be away from him. This morning, I woke up soooo early because I'm anxious about the trip. I rolled over in bed and realized Corky was snuggling with me. Those are the hardest days to get out of bed because I love that close time with him. Luckily today I could lie in bed as long as I wanted and pet him. Normally he sleeps at the foot of the bed but occasionally, I'll wake up to him resting his head on my stomach or curled up on my side. My little mister is getting older but still pretty playful. He is slowing down and sleeping more. However, it's always a fun time when I get home from work...he hears the garage door open and stands as close to the door inside as possible. I always have to be careful when coming in so I don't smack him in the head with the door. He runs over to the chair, as if to race me...he jumps up on it to get closer to my face and when I get to the chair and put my stuff down, he jumps up on me and kisses me. Then he jumps down and runs all around. After we say our hellos I go upstairs to change and he always races me to the top of the stairs and waits patiently for me to open the bedroom door so he can run and jump on the bed...all the while his tail wagging ferociously. We have had Corky for about five years, making him almost 10. In those five years, he has taught me so many things about life and love. I saw the following quotes and it reminded me of everything Corky stands for...

"Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like when loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy-ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently."

I'm thankful for...

I'm thankful for...

pink tulips, daisies and underwear
chocolate cake, pumpkin pie and protein shakes
Sea shells, the ocean and pedicures
Teenagers, Tylenol and oil changes
Ben, Corky and BFFs
Tivo, shopping and contact lenses
Music, candles and bubble baths
Cameras, faith and family.
Exercise, hair dye and toilet paper.

Without each of these things, my life would be dull, full of headaches and gray hair.

True testimony of being tired.

I have been feeling so tired lately that it's hard to describe...but it affects me in significant ways. I've been tired before but this is different. This literally feels like I'm going to die-I have no energy and my head feels too heavy to hold up. It's as though I'm suddenly aware of all the bones in my body and each one feels like they weigh a few pounds. I usually do well in the mornings but struggle in the afternoons, usually after I've eaten lunch. So tonight I found this somewhat exaggerated yet true portrayal of what is called "Toxic Fatigue" in an online article about Lupus and wanted to share it with you.

THE TOXIC FATIGUE OF LUPUS

BY GLORIA ROSENTHAL

Almost all lupus patients have heard the phrase "But you don't look sick" and we cringe inside, knowing the speaker's words do not convey the speaker's true meaning: "You can't be so sick if you look so well".

The fatigue that comes with lupus elicits the same reaction. Try to explain the feeling to a friend and the response is often "I get tired, too". I want to pounce on those words and say "tired? You get tired? I want to screech that the fatigue that comes with lupus is as unrelated to a "tired" feeling as a hang nail is to a broken arm. Calling toxic fatigue a tired feeling is like saying a major flood is a minor trickle of water.

So let's talk, first about what lupus fatigue is NOT. It is not a tired feeling. It's not a "want to take a nap" feeling. It's not a "lazy day, think I'll take it easy" feeling. It's not a "wish I didn't have to do this" feeling. What it is: is a full-body exhaustion that makes you feel as if you have no bones, that if you didn't have skin wrapped around your body, you would melt down into nothingness like the Wicked Witch of the West. Or that you are a melting candle, except a candle has a wick and there is nothing in your body that feels that solid. On the other hand, your bones can feel so heavy that lifting your arms to wash your hair in the shower is a chore akin to a weightlifter hefting a 200 pound barbell. His task is easier, though, because as soon as he puts the barbell down, he's through. But after you've soaped your hair, you have to rinse it. That means those bone-weary, heavy arms must be raised again and after the shower, these "barbells" must be toted around all day long for they cannot be discarded like the weight-lifters toys.

Eating too, is an exhausting habit, especially restaurant dining. There must be something in the atmosphere and a three course meal that makes the lupus body say. "Hey hold on there, why are you lifting a fork so many times?" or "You broke off one piece of roll and now you want to exert that physical activity again for another piece?"

The toxic fatigue of lupus also forces you to make major decisions. Will you make yourself a cup of tea, which means dunking that heavy teabag, or settle for a glass of water - and how many ice cubes can you use without making the glass too heavy?

Am I exaggerating? Of course, but just enough to get a point across, a point that the fatigue that accompanies lupus is not like any other feeling. It is indescribable, but I know that as these words are read by my fellow lupoids, heads will bob up and down in instant recognition, though that frantic activity (head bobbing) will create yet another bout of exhaustion.

Change of plans

So-I had to reschedule my MRI. It was originally scheduled for this Thursday. That didn't work out so well and is now rescheduled for December 11th. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay I get to put it off for another month :) I am really happy about that.


XOXO

Big Birthday Bash...

This weekend was our friend Eddie's birthday. It was such a fun time-it's been a long time since I've laughed so hard!!! Eddie and the kids decided to pass out early but we kept the party going on without them. Gillian is amazing at foosball and has been trying to teach me...my hand/eye coordination leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe that's what I get for never playing video games with Ben...but I'm getting better at foosball the more I play. I love weekends like this!!

My brain...oh how it makes me insane!

I went to the neurologist today. When I first met him, my first thought was "great...I've got a NERD for a doctor!!!" However, after I spent an hour with him, I realized why I was referred to him. He is so nice and thorough! So the 411 is that I need an MRI, which is scheduled for next Thursday. This test will tell us what's going on in my brain and neck. I'm a little nervous about the procedure because I'll be in the tube for 80 minutes (there are two tests). As far as I know, I have to hold REALLY still. I have a history of laughing when I'm supposed to hold really still or be really quiet...so it will be interesting to see how this all goes down. That's all for now. I'll let you guys know when I know more.

XOXO

Trick or treat...

Trick or treat
Smell my feet
Look at me
I'm a bumble bee!!!

Unexpected disaster.

I got to see Elias today. He is so cute and has such an adorable personality already. I just can't hold him enough...well except when he starts crying ;) I've held plenty of babies but I always hold them like an egg--fragile and ready to crack with one false move...but Ashley and mom just handle him like a real person...I'm sure I'll warm up to that one day but for now, I'd feel really bad if I ripped an arm off or something. After dinner, we raced home because we were late getting back to feed Corky. The entire time, we were talking about what we were afraid he may have destroyed...he does that when he gets mad or feels lonely. The only thing we could think of that we had left that MIGHT be of interest to him was the tablecloth. We get home, fully expecting to see the aforementioned tablecloth in shreds to not finding Corky at all. Then we hear him barreling down the stairs...and we remember....we forgot to close the bedroom doors. Upstairs, we find clothes that had been in the dirty laundry strewn about, some shredded some looked as though they had simply been carried around for fun...and then over by the bed, the trashcan was tipped over and all the kleenex and random trash was EVERYWHERE. One thing about it, Corky certainly kept himself busy while we were gone.

Stunning in its simplicity

One of my favorite things to do is take pretty pictures with my new camera. So today, I came home a little stressed out about some things at work and trying to keep the faith that everything will work out as it should. Corky trots over greets me just as excited as ever and then I see these beautiful daisies that I bought last week for a project I was doing. This flower is stunning in its simplicity...like many other things in life. However, I often times walk by the simple things focusing on the dramatic, attention-seeking aspects of my days. It gets tiring having to put out so many fires in one day. So it's nice to be able to look at the ordinary things, take a breath of fresh air and smell the daisies. Now I just need to learn to do it more.

Time for a change.

Well it's been over two years since I've cut my hair short short....I feel like I've been "growing it out" forever!!! I look back at the last three anniversary pictures and my hair has not changed much. So, as with many things in my life, it's time for a change. It's a little shorter than I had expected but I really do love it so I'm sure I'll just love it more as it grows out a little.

Guess who...

is cutting their hair....





Yup...




That's right....




it's...




ME....












New pictures will soon follow~

Random Ramblings from Rachel...

I feel like I have so much to say, yet struggle to find the words. I don't often feel that way :) I have been reading the Twilight series and am, unexpectedly, enjoying it. Ironically, it's helping me get perspective on some things in my life that I just can't understand. I'm almost through the second book and have two more to go...so those of you who have read it in it's entirety, don't ruin it for me :) It's almost time for my ten year high school reunion...it feels like not that long ago that I was sitting in class, aching to have it all be over. Many can tell you, though, that my memories of high school are faded but I still remember how I felt, certain people that impacted my life and things I wish I could go back in time for. I'm still debating on whether I will actually attend the reunion-but I'm glad I have the option. There are some people that I've lost touch with that would make it worth going...so we will see. Also, as many of you know, my camera got destroyed on our trip to Ohio in August...So I have having to do without since then. I love taking pictures, even though I'm not as great as some of you (Stephanie, Camille and Christina to name a few celebs). When I brought my camera home yesterday, I started using it right away...However, I looked a hot mess (not quite sporting my sweats, but close) so there was no way I was going to take any self-portraits...Therefore, I used Corky as my model...I mean, he is way too cute not to be in pictures.

My everyday journey with Lupus.

Every 12 weeks I have to see my Rheumatologist for an exam. He asks questions about my symptoms, does a physical exam, bloodwork and a urinalysis. FUUUUN! Every 12 weeks I dread these appointments but today I really really didn't want to go. He always suggests that I take Prednisone...a steroid (ummmmm no)..and everytime I tell him that. So today I was expecting much of the same and for the most part, it was like any other visit. However, I have been falling down a lot lately, not able to keep my balance, feeling dizzy, forgetting simple things, etc. So because of this, he wants me to see a neurologist. I'm sure it's nothing but I'm also sure that it will even less fun! I am grateful, however, that I have such a nice Rheumatologist and one that listens to what I want my treatment plan to look like. Hopefully this next specialist will be just as supportive.

Baby Elias

Well after two days, baby Elias is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so great being able to be at the hospital to do what we could to be helpful. Stephanie was wonder woman and John was super daddy. They were both troopers and were there for Ashley every second. Ashley deserves a medal for all of her hard work...and let me tell you, it was VERY hard for her-there were some scary moments but they both made it and are doing very well. Ben and I got to spend a lot of time with Avery and learned exactly how smart and fun he can be!!! He kept us entertained for sure!!! Our camera is out of commission but Stephanie took pictures after Eli was born so I'm sure they will be online when she gets home. All I can say is that he is one good looking boy and I am one proud auntie!

We're going to the beeach and we're...gonna eat tur..ur..UR..key

Countdown Clocks, Nature Countdowns at WishAFriend.com

Suite seats!

Becky and I
Medal of Honor recipients
Us again
This one is my fav...caught SO off guard
Carrie Underwood supporting the troops with a concert for the Medal of Honor recipients

Well the concert was amazing. It was long but amazing. It didn't help that I started to get sick on Monday night and on Tuesday I felt so bad. I should have known it was coming, everyone at work has been sick with this nasty cough/cold/flu thing going on. Actually, some time has passed so I thought I escaped the sickness but it caught up with me!! So I'm feeling all bad but I was so excited to see Carrie Underwood that I put it all on hold and today it all hit so I came home early from work...Our seats were directly right of the stage and we could see so well!! Randy Travis opened for her and that was good too!! Here are some pics from last night. I had to cut out some people in the pics for confidentiality purposes since I was technically working, but you still get to see me :)

Angels Brought Me Here.

The first song played when Ben and I were walking down the aisle after saying our vows was called "Angels Brought Me Here" by Guy Sebastian. Ben said that the singer sounded too "nasally" but the lyrics were everything I felt...and still do. Ironically, Carrie Underwood decided to take that older song and make it new...and less "nasally". I'm not that into Country music but I really do like Carrie Underwood. Today, at work, I was informed that someone donated club level suite tickets to the Carrie Underwood concert here in Denver tomorrow night...and they wanted to know if my friend Becky and I wanted to take one of our girls...HECK YES we do!!!! I'm SOOOOOOOO excited!!!! I'll get paid to go to a concert with sweet seats. This is one of those benefits that comes so unexpectedly with my job...Usually it's more of a warm fuzzy feeling benefit but this works too!

Good friends...good times

So we have been working in our back yard...actually, it's our neighbor's vision and tools, we are just along for the ride and grateful for the help. Here is a glimpse of tonight's fun-we have to burn the weeds because we have goat heads and the stickers are everywhere!!! Oh and Corky and I were very helpful...at the supervising anyway!

Making a difference or making myself insane?

"Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves. "


This past week at work seemed like such a long week...even though it was actually a short week! The first several weeks of the fall semester are always times where our census is low because most of our kids have returned to public school and we haven't gotten any new ones yet. This year is like every year in that respect. We have nine kids in our unit (our max is 30) but the nine we DO have are difficult customers!!!! They certainly keep us on our toes. So this week, in particular, I was really feeling a bit burned out. My co-worker is pregnant and that limits some of the things she can do...so I have to work my own caseload plus the difficult clients on hers when they act-out. I'm running around trying to be everything to everybody and do it with a smile on my face, when all I really want to do is scream and then the unthinkable happens. I was going through some treatment journals I had assigned my kids, reviewing their work and preparing for their next assignment when I see the cutest thing. One of my more prickly clients turned in her treatment assignment and one of the questions asked "who is someone you want to be like when you grow up?" Her response was "Rachel, my staff". How SWEET is she?!?! Now, whether or not she was "sucking up" or whether she actually meant it, it was exactly the kind of unexpected twist that my job offers and keeps you coming back day after day...and makes all of the other nonsense worth it.

Thanks Jacque...

You Are Jasmine!

Independent and adventurous. You don't want much; just to break out of the guilded cage society has put you in and experience life to the fullest. Following orders isn't really one of your strong points, and you would rather live a life of poverty than being forced into something that you hate.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

I can do SMALL things.

Feeling absolutely overwhelmed with many things this past week, I heard myself say with a loud sigh this morning, "Okay, I can do small things." I figured I could break one task down into "baby steps".

I guess it's time to watch that movie again, "What About Bob?". It's a comedy with Bill Murray. It is all about taking "baby steps" to cope with life. It is laugh-out-loud funny--probably because it points out so many true things about human nature.

I've heard a lot of people quote the scripture about being able to do ALL things ~ big and small ~ through Christ, who strengthens them. Today, that's just too overwhelming. Today I can just do SMALL things, and I hope Christ will give me the strength to do even that. Sometimes I have those days where I just have to TRUST that all of the good stuff I learn and read are true...and hope above all hope, that tomorrow will be better.

Defiant little dog...

So when Ben and I went to Ohio, we left Corky with my parents as we do anytime we go on vacation. The only thing different this time was a new member of their family...a big black lab named Lily. I took Corky over there a few days prior to our leaving to make sure the two dogs got along. Things were great and so I decided that he could spend the weekend (four days total) with my parents. My mom reported nothing but good things about everyone...no problems. When we got home we noticed that Corky would only eat his canned food out of his bowl and not eat his dry food...and certainly wouldn't eat his glucose pill. Right before it's time for dinner though, he always manages to go over and eat his dry food and waits for more. Also, Ben's work schedule has changed so he leaves before me in the mornings and Corky isn't used to that. Ben feeds him before he leaves in the morning and when I come downstairs to leave, I'll sometimes catch him eating his dry food because he has forgotten that I'm still there. Once he sees me, he stops eating, slinks over to the carpet and lays on his side acting very pitiful--hoping and waiting for some attention. At first I was concerned about him, but now I think he's just being a brat. This change in his eating pattern doesn't really affect anyone other than making me worry about him. He is still just as playful as ever and nothing else has changed for him aside from his lack of interest in his food...so I guess I'll just let it be.

I love this boy.

I kissed a llama

Well-actually the llama kissed me and sniffed my hair...great times had by all :) Hope you enjoy the slideshows!

XOXO

Lovin' the big O

Ben and I are still in Ohio and having so much fun. I will post more pictures when we get home but here is a taste of the fun :)

Madaline Dyan

Well the time has come. It's been over two years since my miscarriage for our baby girl and she would be two this November. Ben and I have done a lot of thinking over the last couple of years and decided today that it's time to name her. We were planning on saving this name for our next baby girl but it just feels so right. The need for closure is there and some days are better than others when I don't think about her all of the time, but regardless, I do think of her daily. The stages of grief are not set in stone, there is no time limit to my sadness. This has taken some time for me to accept. So for some of you this may seem strange to name her so long after her death...but to us, it's perfect-and necessary. Although I have had more than one miscarriage, this one is near and dear to my heart because I knew the gender. I'm glad I know, but it also makes the pain that much more real. So to our baby girl-we will see you again someday.

For time and all eternity

Well...yesterday it was one year since our visit to the Temple. I remember that day so vividly and all of the wonderful experiences we had there. I know that we will return someday and our next experience will be even better than the last, and I will be more prepared. Until then...

Favorites from the party...

Ben's party

Well Ben's surprise party went over really well...even though someone told him about it. UGH! Anyway, a ton of people came and Ben had so much fun. I got him a transformers pinata and that was the funniest part of the evening!