Official Announcement...

While most of you have probably already heard, it's always better when it comes directly from the source. After six years, Ben and I are splitting up. I've encountered many questions when telling my loved ones about this and can only do my best to answer those few, hard questions. Nothing bad happened. It was cumulative. We didn't "fall out of love" like some people say. We just stopped communicating, showing our love and being kind. With that said, we still want to be friends as much as we can. The splitting of the things has been much easier than expected, though I'm having a hard time leaving Riley behind. As I write this, he is sitting on my lap, with his head on the keyboard...which, by the way, makes this post that much harder to write! I move one week from today into an apartment and Ben will keep the house. Most of my readers are from his side of the family so I say this to you: I love you like you are my own family and as hard as this is to separate from Ben, I feel like I'm separating from you too. I only hope that we will still stay in touch and not lose contact completely. We both love you all and hope that you understand our wish to start the new year in a new direction. It wasn't a decision that was made lightly or without careful consideration. It also isn't one that is easy for either of us so your support is needed. This is a time when the family bond is tested and at the end of the day, your love and support will help heal our wounds.

Our love,

Ben, Rachel, Corky and Riley

Holidays

Christmas Day

Christmas, this year, came and went so fast! Before I knew it, it was New Years Eve! On Christmas day we spent the morning with Ben's family and the afternoon with mine. It was a good day. On New Years Eve, Ben was DJing for an anime convention so I just stayed home. The following night, however, my friend Becky and I went downtown with some friends and had a really good time. I go back to work tomorrow and am kind of ready but am also reluctant. I like having time off to spend with family and friends...but don't we all. I look forward to all that 2010 has to offer...out with anything toxic and in with everything healthy.


New Years Day

'Tis the Season...

I know it's been about three months since I've posted anything. I guess I got out of the habit and got busy with other things. Ben has been doing DJ jobs on the side for weddings and corporate parties. I have been working a lot. My new job keeps me very busy. This past week we had a confirmed case of H1N1 with a client. It was interesting to see people walking around with masks and gloves on. The holidays are also keeping us on our toes. I have been doing a lot of Christmas shopping and preparing. My friend and I are in charge of Secret Santa at work so that's been fun. I never really like the Christmas season but this year my view on the holiday has changed. I'm actually enjoying it. Ben and I are going to put up our tree this weekend hopefully so pictures of it will soon follow. My brother gets done with his deployment in Afghanistan next month and is coming to see us in February. I'm very excited about both. Corky and Riley are still as sweet and naughty as ever. Riley has a habit of sitting down wherever he wants, regardless of what he may sit on. Corky's face gets sat on often but he's such a good dog, he always just moves out of Riley's way. Corky ate holes in three pairs of pants this past weekend and I'm sure Riley just watched him do it. They both have their own personalities and mesh well together. Corky was limping pretty badly so we took him to the vet and they originally gave him medicine for arthritis. When that didn't work, we took him back. They ran x-rays and then told us to bring him back to see the orthopedic surgeon. The surgeon said he couldn't find anything wrong with Corky and that he needed to go get acupuncture. We have yet to send him there but he seems to be having more good days. All in all, that's what has been going on in our neck of the woods.

Bullock updates.

Corky is getting so old. He hobbles around, muscles tired and sore while Riley flies off the bed and runs laps from one end of the upstairs to the other. In some ways these two are so similar but their age difference is evident most of the time.

We had a little bit of snow here last week, on the last day of summer. I believe "what the crap?!" was my exact expression when I rolled into work wearing a wool sweater to stay warm. I love fall too much for it to be skipped over and run straight into winter.

Ben's been busy lately with his anime convention. He had a blast and did really well at the dance he DJs for. I wasn't there personally this year, but I hear it was great. He met some really great people there and has been spending time showing off his Rock Band skills for them.

My health has been really good lately (knock on wood) and I haven't been sick in a while. H1N1 has appeared in community corrections, along with some other illnesses but we haven't seen any in our facility yet. We really push good hygiene and I think that helps. One of my co-workers got a new dog (min pin) and she brings hers to work now...so we currently have an English Bulldog and a min pin running around regularly and sometimes a German Shepherd when our supervisor brings her dog to work. I haven't taken either dog to work yet, though I have thought about taking Riley...Ben, however, doesn't want me to because then he will "start liking me more". I think it's too cute that he loves Riley so much.

Hope all is well in each of your worlds!

XOXO

Take me out to the ball game...

...And that's exactly what my friend Liz did yesterday. She took me to my very first Rockies game! I had soooo much fun and got a little sun :) I guess a little farmer's tan never hurt anyone. Our seats were really good. We were right behind first base, 19 rows from the green. It was great!

Remembering Rosie

Remember Rosie the rabbit? She was Riley's favorite toy ever. He would cry if he couldn't find her..take her everywhere with him.












Well all that's left of her now is her ear..

Simple Pleasures

My sister decided not to get married after all, which I can't say that I'm upset about. I'm happy that she's not moving to Washington and she will be near me still. I don't know how some families do it. I could never be that far away from my mom or Elizabeth. Work is going well. I'm still learning and probably will be for a long time...but I like it. It keeps me busy. So busy in fact, that I had to resign from Excelsior altogether. That was kind of sad but also kind of time. I mentally let go of that place a while ago and now it was just time to make it official. The boys are doing well..still spoiled and naughty. Ben has his annual anime conference coming up and is looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to the fall...not that summer has been horrible but I love the fall when all the leaves change and it gets chilly outside at night. It's perfect! Ahhhh...the simple pleasures in life :)

Engagement party

Well it's official...my little sister is engaged. While I was hesitant about this boy in the beginning, I spent a lot of time with him yesterday and must say that I really like him. I think he could be good for Elizabeth. He is in the army and deploys to Iraq in two weeks. They were originally going to get married yesterday but then decided to wait until after he returns from Iraq to get married...so we had an engagement party instead of a reception. Although I'm not thrilled at the thought of her marrying someone in the army and all the moving that entails, I have some time to get used to it.

Catching my breath

These days, the weeks just seem to be flying by. Work is keeping me busier than ever before. I'm working 12-14 hour days and barely have time to catch my breath. One thing about the new job, I'm never bored...and keeping the old job gets harder as my caseload increases. I was so excited I got to set up my voicemail on Friday...Something so simple yet it made me so happy :) The boys are getting adjusted to being home alone more. I'm glad that both Corky and Riley are good enough that I don't have to worry about them being home. However, I am allowed to bring my dog to work. Isn't that the coolest thing ever? One lady brings her English Bulldog daily. He has a pillow he sleeps on in her office and a ball he plays fetch with. Although I would probably never take my dogs because they would either bark or hide, it's great to have the option.

Job update

The new job is amazing. It's even better than I thought it would be. I love it so much already and I know that I'll only love it more once I understand everything. The people there are so great, funny and nice. In some respects, it's vastly different than what I was used to and in other ways, it's very similar. The guys are very nice and respectful. That is a HUGE change from the girls. I'm still working part-time at Excelsior so I'll still get that interaction with the kids that can be unbeatable.

We reap what we sow...

Here is one of the flowers Ben planted for me for Mother's Day. I guess this one was stronger than Riley's wrath!

The countdown begins...

MySpace Countdowns

Lots of NEWs

New #1:

I've developed a new medical issue. My left hand is numb. It first started with the pinky and ring finger and has spread up to my elbow. It's not completely numb but feels like it's asleep and really tight. Anyway, I went to the doctor and they thought it could be a pinched nerve but couldn't figure out where. So I have to make an appointment with my neurologist to get an EMG done (a test to figure out if a nerve is pinched somewhere and the location).

New #2:

I got a new car. Yaaaaaaaaay! I'd had the Toyota for seven years and it was just time to upgrade...especially with all the car deals going on. I don't have pictures yet but I got a Pontiac Torrent and love it! It's great on gas (for an SUV), great for the insurance and great for the payment. This car actually doesn't cost any more than my other car did. WOOT!

New #3:

I got a new JOB. As you all probably know, they eliminated my position at Excelsior and I was having to do some medical transports temporarily until something permanent opened up. I started looking outside the company and found a great case manager position working with adult males in community corrections. I'm so excited for this! It's a great opportunity for growth!

Mother's Day

Well- things have been so busy over here that I haven't updated on my Mother's Day. On Saturday, I went out with my sister for several hours. When I got home, Ben had worked really hard on a flower garden in the back yard for me. I was so shocked! He put a Columbine, Day Lilies, Morning Glories and Snap Dragons in it. He even let me be the first to water it!

On Monday I came home from work to find that Riley dug a lot of my flower garden up. The dirt was everywhere and the remains of the flowers were all over the grass. The Columbine and Day Lilies remained but everything else was pretty much gone. When I told Ben I could hear the defeat in his voice. I felt really bad and that dog can be so destructive!!!! I will fix it when we get back from California and replace the flowers that Riley dug up. My flower garden is still beautiful..It just has some empty spots. I told Ben that it was the thought that counted but I'm not sure that helped him any.

Work changes

Well the time has come that I have to make some hard decisions about my job. It is a real possibility that they may close my department. This puts me in a position where I have to pick another counseling position-none of which are my #1 choices. All of them are a pay cut which is hard since Ben already got one this year. However, the shift that works best for us (not necessarily the hours but the least amount of a pay cut) is a 4 day work week working 3-12 Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays and 9-5 on Sundays. This will still allow me to have various appointments during the day and fits in with my plan to begin my Masters program in late summer as classes are Thursday nights. Plus, I'll still have two days off with Ben-Wednesdays and Saturdays. I have a meeting with the supervisor for this position when she returns from vacation. This will probably be somewhat of a quick transition-even before the final decision is made about Day Treatment. One of the hardest things about this-aside from my coveted schedule is that I wont be working with Becky anymore. We've worked together day after day for the last 4 years and have become such great friends. I know that we will remain friends long after this job but it's still hard not having her there with me.

Lupus walk

I've decided that I'm going to do the 5k Lupus walk this year at Washington Park. I have never done it before but really wanted to last year-it just didn't work out. So far, I've registered and set up our team's page. If you aren't familiar with my Lupus story you can read about it at:

http://donate.lupus.org/goto/MadalinesMessage

Once there click on my name and my page will appear.


XOXO

Happy 5th Anniversary

MySpace Countdown Clocks

We have grass!

Well the time has finally come. We now have grass in our back yard. The doggies LOVE it so much better than those sticker weeds that are so prevalent out here. I'd say it's almost time to BBQ!!!

This is awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRexWE9yBVA

My little sister

Elizabeth just turned 19 this past Thursday. She is growing up so fast. In fact, she introduced me to Twitter! For her birthday, she and her boyfriend went to California for a week to go to Disneyland and Sea World. She had never been to the beach up until last year so this trip marked her independence and she got to do what she's always wanted to-see the ocean and ride the teacups. I pick her up from the airport on Tuesday and I miss her so much. I can't wait to see her!!!!!!! It's crazy how strong our bond is...rain/shine, angry/happy we are connected. Above all else, I'm glad that I have my sister.